Friday, July 19, 2002

Fujissima told me that I should try to talk to that chick on the bus (Armless Hipster Chick) because "she sounds neat."

I don't think "neat" quite encompasses what I have been trying to convey about this woman. Perhaps "quirky", or "freaky", or "mysterious", or "interesting in a strange and fascinating way that both attracts and repels me at the same time" would be better. Nevertheless, it will be a cold day in hell if I ever talked to her. How do you approach someone without any arms and talk to them?!?! What would you say?!

Our pretend conversation:
Me: "Hey. I like your highlights."
Her: "I know you are only talking to me because I don't have any arms and I think thats demeaning and gross. I am so tired of only being judged based only on my disabilities. People like you make me sick. Get the hell away from me before I call the ACLU"
Me: "Kay."

No offense, Fujissima, you know I love your little Hawaiian/ Asian butt, but it will never happen. Plus, mama didn't raise no fool- what if she is a psycho-killer? Lesson for the day kiddies: Never Talk to Strangers, They Could Be Psycho-Killers.

I was reading the Metro the other day and saw a police report about civil rights violations which occured when a drunken man harassed some women on a bus. I was just thinking of all the times I could do a citizens arrest for something like that. Expecially when walking with Nuyorica, the puerto-rican beauty queen, anywhere outdoors where men possibly are.

Quirky thought of the day: (as opposed to the rest of the blog) Ever read in fashion magazines about the hot new trend of using those cloth rice bags that come with certain brands of jasmin rice as purses? I would laugh at you if I saw you with a rice bag on the street. And then maybe I would ask why you carry rice everywhere.