Some days, you just need to hear a good joke. I don't know any. I'll give you the bad ones:
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccanear!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts!
How do you make a kleenex dance? Put a little boogy in it!
What do you call a blond with pig tails? A blow job with handle bars!
What sucks and has seven arms? Def Lepard!
And for the politically incorrect in the crowd.. How do you piss a Jewish Princess off twice? Fuck her up the ass and then wipe your dick off on the drapes.
ba dum ching.