Friday, September 13, 2002

A blond chick leaves a bar.

3 drunk guys stand outside it, one calling out, "hey baby, don't go!"

"Oh c'mon baby, stay with us! Damn you're good looking!"

"You're really gonna leave, damn baby!"

And then the loud, fat, drunk, ugly one says to his companions, "Damn, that is a sham. Lookit that girl, UH!. Man, she looks like a slut too!"

And I walked by, nary a word said.
The feminist inside me wanted to walk up to them and head butt their ugly fat faces.
The woman inside me screamed, FUCK RAPE DEATH BRUTALITY RUN.
So I walked calmly by, thinking, in my universe, things like this don't happen.

I thereby officially designate this "Yell Grotesque Things To Men Day!"

You know who I am talking about and what you really want to say. Take the opportunity to let your voice be heard. Like the way a euro-trash boy's pants hug his package so tight? Tell him! See a construction worker? Bring the pain, lady, bring it! You're sitting on the bus and you watch as the guy in front you of literally cranes his head to see the front and back of every woman on the street? Remind him that staring is rude. Yell out the window to the chick, "Yo! This old guy gets his jollies on the bus looking at women! Ain't that sad?!"
Today, my friends and companions, is the day to unite under the banner of equality and bring the entire human race down a notch. Lets be as vulgar as the French think we are. Why should only 50% of the population get that right? No fair. This is America. We have rights! We stand for things like democracy and the right to pursue our own happiness! So make yourself happy and get the hell out there and yell, whistle, hoot, drool, grunt, scratch, and badger your way into the history books my friends!

And you men out there, don't think this only applies to the ladies. Whistle at a hot man, why don't you? You might get beat up, you might get a number. Explore the possibilities and free yourselves from oppression!!!