Amusing anecdotes from the past few weeks, in no particular order:
The Analyst: "You know what I have noticed? Hot pretzels are really going out of style."
Psycho Kitty shat such a foul smelling shit the other day, it permeated the entire apartment. As it wafted from the bathroom into the foyer, the cat spent fifteen minutes scratching the litter to form a huge pile over the offending offal, obviously embarassed at the smell, and The Analyst actually made me get out of bed and experience it, because she did not want to be alone in the horribleness of the smell. She then said to the cat, "No more eating for you!" The sad fact, is the cat had not eaten anything different then her normal diet of Iams and furr balls.
Cousin Yoni came over and tried to insist that a person could be quick enough to catch a bullet if they caught it in their hands from the side. I demanded to know if he had taken Physics. He said yes. I said, lately? He said no. Nuyorica then mentioned something about me and I said something about her mom's poontang. Luckily, the tension between Yoni and I was broken by this amusing aside.
After meeting Cousin Yoni for the first time, it was revealed to me that his nickname as a child was "Yonni", Hebrew for John. I then screamed with laughter and informed The Analyst that her cousin had been called "Vagina" his whole life by his family, because the "yoni" is a one of those funny names for the vage. He asked that we not reveal this fact to any of his new college friends.