Friday, May 23, 2003

A list of recent subject titles in my email account:

Pound her love muffin
Cheerleaders out of control
Its ok to tell him to use this
Lose weight in the shower
Happiness is going back for more...
Crucial complement to any Mans stash

Now, I have this free email account solely (soley? whatever) for the convenience of signing up for things on the internet and then not getting spam in my real email account. But sometimes, just the subject lines alone are worth it. I never open them up- because hey I'm at work and the last thing I need is higher-up walking in right when I have a picture of flashing boobies splashed across my high resolution huge-ass flat screen monitor (really, its so beautiful. I'm in love with my computer). I also never open them because I know no matter what the subject line, its going to be porn. Though "pound her love muffin" is kind of obvious. "Love muffin", is really the best term. I think I'm going to use it forever know. And all my guy friends will now be refered to as my "mans stash", or even better, "my stash o'meeeennnss". Maybe call all mustaches man-stashes.

Actually, more than once I've tried to be that kinda rockabilly hipster cool and complement a guy on his "stache" only to be replied with "huh?".
Explaining it is worse: "Your mustache. MUSSTAACHHEE. Its um, nice."

Is happiness really going back for more? Usually, I live by the simple brain mechanism of "fun? repeat!" If you don't recognize it, its the exact opposite of "fire, bad!" that makes your hand jerk away from the burning whatever you tried to touch, dumbass. I don't know if this is necessarily happiness, though when you're at a buffet you should always go back for more. Thats what a buffet is all about.