Monday, June 23, 2003

So, today, unlike most posts, I am home. I'm not at work, getting paid to write about myself, play computer games, and talk online. I'm at home, getting paid to sit around in my pjs and do nothing. Its a sick day for me-- paid day off. The few pleasures of a 9 to 5 job-- benefits.

Why did I stay home today? Because this morning it took me an hour to decide what to wear. Actually, it took me half an hour to get out of bed after my alarm went off and then another hour to chose clothing. I did make coffee, but that was at a break from trying to figure out why I couldn't make a single decision beyond the underwear part.

During that hour, I went back and forth about going to work. Just go, you can't go like this, go and maybe you can distract yourself, dont go just go back to bed..

Now I'm in bed and one of my lovely neighbors has decided to blast Eminem as I type. Eminem is trying to encourage me right now to take my one shot, my one opportunity, to become a gangsta rapper.

Maybe gangsta rap would suit me better than this fancy accounting stuff. As nice as it is to wear work casual clothes, have my own windowless office, and be at the mercy of the telephone- I think hip hop might be where its at for me. I have no talent for it, but who cares, I can drop enough weight to look like a starving member of the third world, wear torn up and nasty clothing that looks like it came from Salvati'on Army, or even off the back of some homeless person, but really cost me the equivalent of a car or house, and then do a lot of posturing and "uh what. what what. uh". Once the Neptunes remix it, it will be the number one hit and go platinum. I bet I could even keep my name. Center of the Fucking Universe, what.

Is that a hidden diatribe on the state of hip hop today? Hmm, I didn't mean to do that, but it just came out.

Around 5:30 this morning, I accidentally walked in on my roomate using the bathroom. The door was slightly open, I pushed it to go in, she simultaneously said "heey!!!" and then I said "holy shit!" and quickly closed the door. I'm surprised I was able to be that eloquent at that time in the morning, I would have guessed that I would have just grunted and turned around, but I even pulled the door shut behind me.

I wonder if she is embarassed about it, because truth be told, I wasn't wearing my glasses so she was just a peachy looking blob on a white blob in a dark room for me. I'm the one who should be embarassed... Any of you with short hair knows that when you wake up its not sleek and cute and nicely molded to your head--oh no. Its a lifeform of its own. It defies gravity by standing up straight and is also completly smooshed to your head in other places, kinked, curled, knotted, and all around medusa-y. And its too short to throw back in a ponytail. Too long to not be completely funkdified in the morning. Too short to push back behind the ears, and too damn messy to even bother with.

I didn't even get around to styling my hair this morning. After the hour long clothing conference, i brushed my teeth and picked up my bag and promptly turned around, dropped everything, and decided to call in sick. So I did actually make one decision this morning-- the one that kept me in bed. I think I will work on deciding to get out of bed now, because I have to go to the bathroom and this could get ugly. Maybe after that I'll take a nap. I can tell its going to be a stressfull day.