Monday, June 02, 2003

This weekend, I finally experienced a migraine.

My mother has them, so I'm not too surprised to be included in this special club. I'm also in the horrible vision club, the allergies club, the emotional problems club, the short club, the freakishly small hands club, the chubby club, and the not quite curly but not straight hair that annoys you every day club. All of these clubs are pretty much exclusively genetic. I'm awaiting the cancer, heart disease, warts, and diabetes clubs. If your DNA isn't crap, don't talk to me.

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most painful, most migraine sufferers would probably bitch-slap me for even mentioning what I had. But, if migraine's are defined as headaches that occur only on one side of the brain and behind the eye, thats where I was-- sitting in my apartment, wishing I could reach behind my eyeball and scratch something, because I just knew it would make it better. I slept and it went away. I woke up the next day and felt like I was going to vomit for the entire day.

I have been reading a book that supposes that suffering is unique to human beings alone. It somehow has to do with the evolution of our intelligence and brains, since we as sentient creatures are the only ones who worry about pain, anticipate pain, fear pain, as well as experience it (I'm a little fuzzy on it.. when I say "have been reading" that means- picked up three months ago, read a chapter, havent touched it since). So as we grew more intelligent, somewhere pain and suffering linked themselves to our beings. (This argument works if you agree to the presupposition that no other mammal worries, fears, anticipates etc except humans. Mammals may learn to avoid pain, and may suffer in the sense that pain lasts long, but not suffer fear of pain, nervousness, etc etc). I suffer, therefore I am. Now isn't that a cheery view of humanity. But one of the the authors points was specifically migraines-- there is no biological reason for a migraine to occur. Why oh why does the human brain seem to turn against itself and make people hurt? Why oh why does the human brain not understand that some people should not be famous? Tom Brokaw does not need to be famous. We have Peter. Its enough.

I personally believe that all of evolution was meant to bring us Prince and Purple Rain. We've met it. Its all been downhill from then. But the idea of intelligence and suffering evolving in conjunction brings up all sorts of interesting questions.

But its close enough to the end of the day that I can resign meself to being just another tired face on the bus and stop thinking about this.