Friday, September 19, 2003

Having introduced one of my new roomates to the majesty and grandeur of Purple Rain, I decided that I really needed to know a lot more about The Purple One. (Like the fact that he is called 'the purple one'. It took me a minute when I first read it... embarassing.)

And Lo!, I come to find out, My Man in Heels and a Pompadour has shut down almost every website that has anything to do with him. And you have to join and be a member for all the other websites. And his official website is a travesty!

Why?
1. You have to join up.
I am against having to join up. I've been against it since I was a wee lass. I never joined in anything I didn't know I would be good at from the beginning. CVS made me get that dumb card to get the special deals and now everyone has a dumb card. Just give me the special deals! I prefer to remain anonymous. And now there is some administrative computer monkey sitting at a desk right now, probably a lot like mine, who knows what kind of tampons I use. Yes, thats what is really important these days, my menstrual product choices. (And on that subject, I really hate the blue liquid used in commercials. Its not blue. It never will be. Deal.)

2. You have to pay a membership fee.
A fee? A fee? To a bonafide STAR?

This is why Metallica sucks. "Oh poor me, I'm a multimillionaire and you're stealing my music!!" sob sob "We don't make as many dollars from concerts as cds!" sob "I want my money!!!"

No, give me some good music asshole. Give me something that makes you being super rich and super famous and super sure to never have to worry about rent, grocery money, doctors appts, the cost of living, whether or not to take a vacation, having another beer or taking a cab home, shopping at TJ Maxx, or living in an apartment without a single door that properly shuts, you give me something that makes all of that worth my time. You, the artist, give me, the listener, something worthy of my life- because its my taste first, and not my money, that makes you famous and rich, buddy.

Hmm, looks like I've got some anger there...

3. The graphics suck. (I'm talking about the Formerly Known's website, in case you forgot.)
Some of the background pics are alright- but whoa, little human figures and flames and 'guess if i'm a link or not' images are so post-millenium. Its Y2K+4. I've seen better on Amazon.

Also- found out that this sexpot is now a Jehovah's Witness. And once again, we are left with the eternal unanswerable theological puzzle--- WHY go to the church that doesn't let you get any presents? Even Jesus got some presents.