Tuesday, February 03, 2004

The Magical Fruit

I just so happend to be in New York a while back, kickin it O-G style with my homie The Analyst.

We went into this restaurant, Rubyfruit, in the village. Turned out to be a big old lesbo bar, which took me an embarassing amount of time to figure out.

It wasn't the female bartenders, or the all women clientele, or even the wall of famous visitors pictures- all female- that tipped me off. No, it was the vaginal fruit shape logo on the Rubyfruit menu.

I walked into the place thinking something was different, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I obviously noticed the butchies behind the bar, but I wasn't going to leap to conclusions because NYC is a hip hip place and I'm a just a lowly visitor.

But then, I looked at the menu. There was a round shape, with a long stylized line drawn across the page and down the center of the circle. The shape was peach-ish, but peaches don't have stems. Maybe, I thought, its a cherry. A suggestively rounded, split down the middle cherry. I actually considered the possibility that there was a real ruby fruit and this was it, and maybe it was tropical or something, which is why I never heard of it. Could it be a grapefruit? A ruby red grapefruit?

And then I pulled my head out of my ass and realized it was a VAGINA. And all the clientele were women, and the bartenders were butch, and the wall of stars were all female performers I didn't recognize and we- were- in- a- lesbo- bar!!! I leaned over and hissed it to my former roommate and dinner companion.

Aside from the irony of me unwittingly taking a female companion into a lesbo bar, I've been pondering this whole vegetable- vulva connection.

Why is fruit so damn suggestive? So very sexually charged? Did you ever stop to notice the obscentity of a peach in your grocer's vegetable section? No, you think, "mmm peach!" and not "hehe wink wink nudge nudge peach, yeah uh, peach" but "hey I like to eat peaches because it is a lovely fruit that blossoms from a flowering tree in the summertime and also goes well on ice cream and can be used to flavor many traditional dishes and drinks, like peach iced tea or peach chutney." I mean, that is exactly what I think when I see a peach.

Except not an artistic rendering of a peach, with an art-deco like feel to it. Then I just see a vagina. Like everyone else.