After my lovely romance with Carpal Fucking Tunnel, I have finally come to the realization that it is time to break things off.
I'm sorry numbness. I'm sorry tingling. Its you, not me.
The EMG came back negative, which is positive news! I have no permanent nerve damage! I don't need surgery!
After these past three miserable months, I'm left with one puzzling question--
How come I got Carpal Fucking Tunnel and you didn't?
While wearing my Mr. Roboto-style splints, every person in the known universe had to tell me about their computer usage stats. And I found out that all of you did the same things I did, used the computer just as much, and had no fucking problems.
My physical therapist broke it down for me: Its more than likely genetic. Maybe my carpal tunnel is slightly smaller than yours. Maybe the thingy that rests on top of the nerves in my wrist is thicker. Whatever it fucking is, it means the I end up with injuries while you assholes la di da through life.
But I got a month and half off of work.