Friday, July 30, 2004

DEE EN CEE deez nutz!

I'm in a giggly, glorious, happy mood this morning. 

It may be because I slept in (getting to work at 10 AM rocks!).  It may be because the DNC is over and the town is freeeee!  Perhaps also because I am having a party tomorrow.  Indeed,  lets not forget that I also forgot to take my meds this morning and am riding the extra-energy-due-to-increased-anxiety wave.

Anyway you slice it, Yay for me!

My dad, who lives and works in DC, confirmed for me yesterday that the entire town came to Boston this week.  I totally knew it- there is just something about the cut of a certain kind of suit that reeks of that place.  I'm glad they are leaving, not because I am anti-democrat (I am so very very firmly democrat) but because I don't like people.  And there were way too many people around this week- politicos, journalists, AND tourists?  Ke-rist.  Thank gawd all the locals hid away in their homes or I might have had to go postal.

Of course, I'm moving to DC, so I'm obviously going to have to deal with this little people-problem of mine one day soon. 

But more importantly, you ask, why, Center, you anxiety driven hermit fah-reak, are you having a party?

Because I'm blowing this town for good in two weeks!  Everyone has to come kiss my ass and tell me how much they loved me!  I'm throwing myself my own good-bye love fest party!

No, really, I am very sad to be leaving what has been my home and my family for the past six years.  I love these people, even the ones who I have alienated and driven crazy, or vice versa.  However, I have to say that in a very emotionally stunted way, which I sometimes am, its nice to just walk away.

OK, I'm admitting it, I'm being a bad therapy patient, and I'm just ignoring some things.  I'm ignoring saying goodbye to people.  I'm ignoring packing.  I'm ignoring letting people at work know that I only have a week left.  Frankly, I'm even ignoring the fact that next week is my very last appointment with my therapist, whom I love dearly, and who very clearly thinks the world of me (its a reaaally nice feeling when you know your therapist likes you- I mean, who could be a better judge of character, right?!).  Obviously, the act of denial- even after four plus years of therapy, has really got a hold on me.

But who cares!  There will be beer and a lot of "remember that time when this happened and you were all 'oh my god' and I was all, "no way!'" 

or

me: "I always thought you were a real asshole and I'm glad you showed up tonight because its time I really told you what I feel.  You're an asshole."

or

"Boo hoo you're leaving I love you sooo much you are my dream girl and I am going to throw myself at your feet because I love you and I never said anything boo hoo I can't believe I broke your heart I love you soooo much!  Take me back!"

and me: "No."

Boo-ya!