Friday, September 24, 2004

blessed are the dorks

I started work at the Archives.*

Being the attentive person (read: sticks nose in other's business, then judges) that I am, I have noticed a certain trend in the greater library science field.

They are all cross eyed.

Ok, not everyone, but A LOT. People in my classes, people at work, people who come into work to research, people I got to meet in other departments relating to my work/classes-- cross eyes everywhere!

Is it just coincidence or is there something about the library sciences that draws people with vision problems? Are all cross eyed people catholic and therefore attend my catholic university? If you make that face and someone hits you on the back, does it really stay that way?

No and no (although I harbor some suspicions about the catholics. C'mon- they EAT God).

Cross eyed people are automatically on the lowest rung of the too-cool-for-school totem pole of childhood. They are dorks. Dorks do not make friends, unless with other dorks. Since they have no friends, they are isolated. They turn to books. They read and hang out with other readers in the library during lunch, playing Magic and wearing tee shirts with portraits of heroic figures from Celtic myths. Then they become librarians or library science professionals. The library sciences is a giant collection of people who were picked on as children. Its like natural evolution-- cross eyes emerge as a trait that marks a good librarian.

So, I go to a school for dorks that is filled with dorks. Let's be honest, I am a dork. As much as I try to go with the whole "I understand computers so I am a geek, which is actually cool now" thing, I was and always will be a dork. And frankly, I'm also kind of a nerd- being so bookish and all. You could be like, "hmm, I wonder about China" and suddenly I pop up out of nowhere with," well, starting migration of peoples across the Asiatic land masses in the early days of homo sapien sapiens..." I'll spare you the rest of that conversation, but rest assured, I keep talking for quite a while.

But here is the other thing I have noticed since starting this program-- librarians, library science professionals, and library students (mostly- minus the few who are all "well I'm a full time student AND I work full time, sniff sniff") are the NICEST people in the world. When they say, "come back some time and I'll show you my collection of 10th century medieval books" they aren't trying to get you drunk and feel you up in the stacks-- they really will show you some old ass books! When they force you to do a lot of data entry, registering tape after tape of musical recordings of graduating Master's students in a never ending spreadsheet, they'll actually show up now and again to make sure you get a smoke break! They shake your hand while looking you in the eye (sorta, cuz sometimes they are cross eyed) and they WANT you to SUCCEED. Who does that? I mean really, how many people in the world are interested in your success? That's right, a big fat no one.

So, in a way, this school of people who were all picked on as children knows that they were all of them picked on, so they come together into their own little dork society, where they love and nurture each other.

However, they could really use some lessons in fashion. I SAW A LACE DICKEY WORN OVER A DRESS AS A DECORATIVE COLLAR. AND I THINK SHE ALSO HAD A PERM.

*(No, I'm not telling you which archives, you nasty internet pervert stalker person.)