Monday, November 01, 2004

adult children of divorce

I don't really want to be a good person anymore. Its really fucking hard and I only succeed 15% of the time. Some people might tell you I never succeed at all. I'm giving myself the 15% just to appear less self involved than I really am. See? Failure.

I don't want to hold my tongue and not speak in anger. I don't want to wait it out. I don't want to be okay with the things that are happening around me. I don't want to accept change or deal with it, I just want it to stop. Stop stop stop.

My parents marriage ended the other week. I'm not okay with it, but it doesn't matter, because that doesn't change anything. Yesterday, I finally felt safe enough to cry and mourn for the things that have happened only to realize, mid-tear, that I didn't feel any fucking better about it at all.

Go out and vote, kiddies.