Saturday, April 16, 2005

whipp'r snapp'rs!

Tah-WEN-tee five! I'm the oldest person ever!

Center says, Twenty- fucking- five, beetches! Posted by Hello

I just went and checked in with my psychic. He says its time to get back to a project I began in 1993.

Hmm. 1993. What was I doing in 1993?

Well, there was puberty. Although by thirteen, I already had boobs. And hair in funny places. So really, at 13, I had all the hormones AFTER the growth spurts.

1993... I was in the 8th grade. The last year of middle school. I pegged my jeans and permed my hair. There is no fucking way in hell I will go back to middle school to finish anything I might have left undone. Yeargh, just thinking about middle school makes me break out in a cold sweat. Horrible horrible pubescent children! Who ever thought putting 400 eleven to thirteen year old boys and girls in one place was a good idea? Education, my ass.

You know whats funny? Puberty curled my hair anyway.

Was anything important happening in the world in 1993? Probably, but I can't think of a single thing right now. Oh look, Automated Message Handling System. How could I miss that?

I'm sure 1993 was a good enough year, for whatever might have happened. If I wasn't on so many medications, maybe I would remember it better. But maybe this is a sign telling us not to dwell on the past. We turn and embrace the future, breathing deeply and centering our power center in the yadda yadda bullshit etc.

Kiddies, I'd like to ponder the meaning of my birth more, but I have work to do. And by work, I mean season two of Alias on DVD.

I'm twenty-fucking-five! Where's my cocktail?

Yay, DVD technology! Yay, birthday! Yay, cocktails before noon!

Center, wise beyond her years  Posted by Hello