Wednesday, May 18, 2005

oh ah ouch ack er oh ow

I threw my MUTHAfuckin BACK out today at work. How? Getting off the can.

Yes, I sat down, flushed, stood up, and threw out my back.

So I went to the doctor and she said its not likely there is any nerve damage, just muscle sprain. Normally, she gives out muscle relaxers and NSAIDS (non steriodal anti-inflammatories) but because I am on a certain anti-depressant, I have to go on the actual steroids, because otherwise I could bleed out my stomach lining. Instead of muscle relaxers, I get puffiness in my face and legs and mood swings. Not happy fun manic mood swings, either, but angry "my nuts shrank to raisins" wrestler-style depression.

Gaddammit! I'm like some old guy, throwing out my back while sittin on the crapper. Next thing you know, I'll fall down and not be able to get up.

This is so NOT punk rock at all. I should be getting addicted to pain killers, not worrying about ROID RAGE. Someone send me a swedish masseuse person, STAT!