Wednesday, November 02, 2005

tongue in cheek

I was on the metro the other day and saw a woman playing with her tongue.

At first I thought she was just licking her finger in order to turn the page (honestly? gross) but then she actually grabbed her fat pink tongue in between her index finger and thumb and played with it while continuing to read the paper. She pulled it out of her mouth and was sort of twisting it back and forth, hither and thither.

I realized I was just outright staring at her with I can only assume was a serious WHATTHEFUCK look on my face, and quickly looked back down at my book. In order to be more polite, I started with the furtive glances every few seconds, but it didn't really matter because this normal looking rich white woman (50ish, gold jewelry, the kind of blond hair that is only available at expensive salons) was so damn engrossed in playing with her tongue while reading, she never once glanced around the train. Not even when the train made those bumps and jumps, or stopped at the stops, or anything. Playing with her tongue. On the metro.

I tried to read more of my book but after a page or two, I just had to check on the Tongue Lady again. Sadly, she had put her tongue away and I totally missed it. However, instead she was now sitting there with her mouth wide open, reading her paper. I waited a beat for her to finish her yawn.

I waited a beat more. I blinked once.

But no, really, her mouth was wide open and she was reading the paper. Like when you say "aaahh" for the dentist or like when you are really really concentrated on something and your mouth just sorta falls open-- that's how she was.

This time I know I made the WTF face, probably snorted, and I almost added a "Really, lady? I mean, really?" but recalled that talking to strangers who ride the metro and play with their tongues is probably not the best idea ever.

Moral of this story? I'm just saying, really? Tongue Lady?