Friday, January 06, 2006

another book review

I am a tool of the devil.

Awhile back I went batshit over The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova. I was so in love with that book, I wanted to make sure it was a bestseller just so EK might actually write another book that I would love just as much. So, I blogged on it and I am happy to report that TWO WHOLE PEOPLE bought the book because of me. If anyone knows Elizabeth Kostova, tell her I did my part.

I just finished reading a book called PopCo. This is where the tool thing fits in.

It was a pretty good book featuring a lot of things I like-- a quirky, independent heroine, an twisted plot line about cryptanalysis and buried treasure, and a nice cover.

I am actually into cryptanalysis, I don't know if you knew that about me. I took an Anthro elective on deciphering dead or lost languages and it turns out I have a knack for deciphering dead or lost languages. Especially when a key is provided.

But on another side note-- Let's be honest here people, we all of us judge a book by its cover.

You're at the library, cruising the isles for something good. You see this little number here.



BORING! Who would pick this up? No one. That's why its like five million dollars to buy, because the only people who buy books like these are the ones who are forced to by Evil Library Scientists. Jerks!




Now check out this book:





Right? It looks cool and interesting. Its about a quirky, independent heroine who's into cryptanalysis and knows the secret location of buried treasure. Awesome!








Turns out this book is about other things too.

The woman, Alice, works for a toy company. Toy companies are even more evil than Evil Library Scientists. Toy Companies are CORPORATIONS and CORPORATIONS exist only to figure out ways to MARKET things to otherwise innocent children that THEY REALLY DON'T NEED. These things are made via EXPLOITATION in various third world countries and even if they are ON SALE by buying them you are participating in a MORALLY WRONG ACT. MOTHER EARTH IS WEEPING.

The book got a little-- shall we say-- message-y near the end and kinda ruined the fun, but overall, I enjoyed myself. I recommend it if you are looking for a fictionalized Fatland, Fast Food Nation or Nickel and Dimed kind of read.

But getting back to the point: I am a tool of the devil.

While I am reading the book, I pat myself on the back for not working in the for profit/corporate/ruining the earth and humanity world. I mean, pshew! My soul is clean and I am okay. Then I realized...

I work for the Catholic Church.

T H E [ remembertheInquisition? ] C A T H O L I C [yaytorture!] C H U R C H

You don't get more The Catholic Church-y than my "company" unless you go to Vatican City and spit shine the Pope's slippers. And my other job? Its for The Franciscans. Not like, oh we help the franciscans via ten percent of our net income, but like THE FRANCISCANS. The serious, for real, in the cowl and cassock, Franciscans.

The Catholic Church is totally evil, as we all learned in the (stupi)DaVinci Code. Plus, that new pope is just ugly. Every time I see a photo of him, I am creeped out.

And, children, the lesson is: I am a tool of the devil. And he isn't even paying me that well.