Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that I took both of my cats* to a house party in a shitty neighborhood in Boston. Except, I didn't realize that it was going to be a party, so I was mighty pissed when I got there.
I let the cats loose and try not to have a giant freakout as more and more people show up. I'm really worried about Kobi, who is emotionally unstable, and not good around people. Actually, she's not even that good when it is just her and me.
The situation gets out of hand. Kobi starts attacking and everyone freaks out, shouting and crying and tearing their hair and stuff. This, of course, makes things worse, which I am calmly trying to explain to the screaming, crying, tearing hair crowd and they are just not listening. So I pull out my gun and fire off some rounds. The crowd shuts the hell up. I scramble under some couch, retrieve Kobi, and place her back in the kitty carrier.
Now its time to retrieve Rudy (the other, much saner and nicer, cat), and we can all go home and relax.
I wander through a couple of rooms and although everyone keeps telling me how nice Rudy was and how much they liked meeting him, no one seems to know where he went. Finally, I make it into the living room, filled with college kids making out on futons, the smell of cheap beer, and cigarette smoke. I don't see Rudy anywhere. Over by the window there are two dudes laughing and doing something that I quickly get the sense is no good. I look closer and realize that they are dangling my poor Rudy out of the damn window!
I grab one guy and shove him back behind me, slap the other, and catch Rudy. Once he is safe in my arms, I start crying hysterically. The dudes start making fun of me, saying how it was all a joke and didn't I have any kind of sense of humor?
At this point, I'm so uneasy in my dream that I start to wake up a little. I'm realizing that it is only a dream but I am also filled with so much rage at these two stupid boneheads that I actually want to stay asleep and continue dreaming just to get back at them. I'm tossing and turning and trying to think of a really good comeback when I just throw the covers back, sit up, lean over into their ugly ass faces and hiss
"DON'T YOU EVER FUCK WITH MY CAT AGAIN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!"
Then I lay back down and congratulate myself for telling those jerks off
But something is still wrong. In the dream, I'm still uneasy. I wake up all the way and stare up at the ceiling, trying to think- what is it?
And then it occurs to me that it wasn't just a dream-- I actually physically threw my blankets off, sat up in my bed, leaned over Rudy who happened to be sleeping next to me at the time, and told absolutely no one "DON'T YOU EVER FUCK WITH MY CAT AGAIN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!"
Then I went back to sleep.
*One is technically my mom's but since she doesn't read this site any more, I can go ahead and say whatever I want. Therefore, he is mine. Mine mine mine.