Wednesday, March 01, 2006

COTU email to Friend, March 1st 7:51 PM

Hey- sorry I haven't emailed, things got a bit crazy at work at work on Tuesday and then I had to make an emergency trip to the surgeon this morning.

This is so gross. And SO embarassing. But I'm going to tell you the truth about me:

I have to get surgery on my ass.

There, I said it.

Remember when we were first gonna hang out and I said I was having those problems with my back? And had to stay home because it was so painful? Well, it wasn't my back, it was my ass. Specifically, this weird abscess/cyst thingy on my left cheek that had gotten totally infected and nasty. So I went to the doctor that week and had it drained, got some anti-biotics, bandaids, etc. Everything seemed better until this week, when it finally healed over and immediately got all infected and nasty again. I decided enough was enough and went to the ass doctor.

Who totally looked. up. my. ass.

I think I might be a different person than waking up this morning. A person who has had her ass probed. And who has had meticulous drawings of what exactly is happening in her ass shown to her and then had to sit through the longest most embarassing explanation of potential ass problems that included the possibility of the loss of control. The doctor didn't exactly say what would loose control when, but I think I have a general idea of that kind of problem and it involves adult diapers.

So, I'm getting the surgery, hopefully as soon as possible. They should call me with appt times sometime tomorrow.

Hope this doesn't ruin the mystery!! I am really a decent, clean, nice person, I swear. Its just this one little thing. This one little ass thing.