Tuesday, March 21, 2006

i am not pooping yet

So, MKD is just dying to know if I am currently pooping. I am not. I drank that damn bottle of laxative an hour ago and nothing is happening. Although there are the occasional rumbles that make me think trouble is a-coming.

Anywho, for those who just turned in- I'm getting ass surgery! Tomorrow! Which is why I had to drink a whole shitload (ha!) of lemon flavored carbonated laxative an hour ago. Now I'm wondering if perhaps I should have taken it earlier. I do have to wake up at 5 am and give myself an enema tomorrow morning, so sleeping a little tonight would be nice.

Ah well. Live and learn.

Have any of you heard of that meme where you make a list of 100 things to do in the next 1000 days? Its sorta the idea that you actually do all the things you've been meaning to do in a well-defined time period of 2.739 years. I decided to give it a try. I think somewhere around numbers 25 to 30, "Finishing this list" made it on to the list of things I want to do with my life.

You know what wasn't on that list? Ass surgery, laxatives, or enemas. All of which have occured or are in my near future. I guess we can cross "Find out if really psychic" off that list.

I did, however, write that I would like to research the possibility of putting my cat on anti-depressants and whether that would improve her quality of life.

I would like to travel to Mexico, Japan, or the American West, sans anyone I am related to.

I also wrote that I would like to cry from having really really good sex, but that was somewhere around 20 to 25, when I was seriously running out of things to write. I mean, seriously? Cry? Apparently, when searching for things to do with my life, I will turn to romance novels and Lifetime movies for inspiration.

I would not, however, turn to my ass, a colon and rectal surgeon, or magnesium citrate.

Again, live and learn. Live and learn-- and eat your fiber, kiddies!