Friday, December 22, 2006

i'm supposed to be cleaning my room

At the office party the other day, we were asked about our holiday plans. I triumphantly reported mine THE BEST EVER since I actually have TWO CHRISTMAS VACATIONS this year.

The first: Merrymaking at home with my mumsy and my special lady friend.

Highlights will include:
1. Empanadas.

Its a delicious meat pie!

Haha sucker, bet you won't get no empanadas at your Xmas (unless you are latino and you roll like that, or you come over to mi casa). Empanadas take all day to make, but then you get to stuff your face! Mumsy is even being a real peach and making them with ground turkey and chicken-- whatta gal! Added bonus: 6 months from now, will find a stray one in the freezer for an unexpected treat. Yum-mee!

2. Time with Mumsy and the Special Lady Friend.
Opening presents, drinking hot cocoa, lounging with the cable and the big tv and the big fat kitties. Ah life.

3. Mumsy's mashed potatoes.
Best mashed potatoes ever.

The Second: New Years Eve in Venezuela!

Oh yeah, I'm heading to the tropics to get my tan on. Below, please drool over the image of the tropical archipelago I shall be visting for the first part of the week:

I plan to be the whitest person in the Caribbean Ocean.

I don't know what the Highlights will include because I really couldn't care less. I'm pretty sure I will completely stop thinking in any higher functioning kind of way the moment my feet touch foreign soil. Sleep, eat, tan. Anywhere someone leads me, I will follow. Hopefully, this will not lead to kidnapping or something.

JUST KIDDING. I don't tan. But I will be in the tropics, beyatch!

Is it mean of me to rub my splendiferous holiday plans in your face? I don't care. Most likely, you have a job. I, on the other hand, have been doing a part time thing for the past year, teetering on unemployment and ruin. Therefore, I reserve the right to BOOYA SUCKERS! all I want. Which I am pretty sure, is so totally the spirit of Christmas.

Merry Christmas! Happy Chanukah! Joyous Winter Solstice!