Friday, January 19, 2007

update schmupdate

Now that I have migrated to the new version of blogger, I can finally post this:

While vacationing in the Caribbean, I fell into the ocean.

I fell into the ocean while carrying my purse on my left shoulder.

My purse contained the following items:
  • Assorted girly things like lip gloss, breath mints, tampons, etc., in a small pink mesh pouch.
  • My DIY day-planner (a small blank moleskin journal in which I paste monthly calendars and write shit down when it occurs to me)
  • My digital camera
  • My cell phone
See, what happened was, I was trying to get off of a boat onto a dock, because the place we were staying wasn't on the main island, it was on a leetle teeny island off the coast. Are you dying of jealousy now? Except the dock at the teeny island had no rails or posts or anything and the boat ferrying us to the leetle island had no, um, thingys, to help in the transfer of my person from boat to solid land.



Actually, the boat didn't even have a solid floor-- when boarding, El Capitan (the cap'n, to you gringos) said "El puro centro! Camina en el puro centro!" which roughly translates to "walk down the middle of the aisle because the floorboards aren't actually nailed down and if you walk to one or the other side, they will flip up and possibly toss you over the side".

Which isn't what actually happened to me.

When the boat reached the dock- after transversing El Caribe (the Caribbean) at night, affording the most breathtaking view of the night sky-- jealous now? should I tell you about the warm sea breezes? The delicious caipriniha I drank with dinner that night at a little cafe with my feet quite literally in the warm, white, Caribbean sands? -- El Capitan and his mate jumped onto the dock and pulled the ropes taunt. No, didn't tie the ropes or secure the boat in any way, just pulled them taunt.

I made my way to the front of the boat, grabbed El Capitan's offered hand (the one not holding the boat), then lifted my foot.

Here's where we transfer to slo mo: I shift my body forward, the boat rocks up with some pesky Caribbean wave lapping against the dock, a slight hush as the group collectively gasps and I start to flail, Capitan Luis and I look each other dead in the eye with dismay and horror, and I fell over sideways. Oh, and I took Capitan Luis with me.

And his and my cells, and my camera, died a wet salty death. The DIY day planner, however? Slightly swollen, but fine.

All in all, an exciting time was had by everyone involved. Luis laughed his ass off.

Life lesson: when falling into the ocean with expensive electronic gadgets, make sure to take a guy with a great sense of humor with you.