Tuesday, August 21, 2007

barefoot and fertile

I stopped taking the pill.

In fact, I have significantly decreased taking many pills. About a year or so ago, I decided it was time to see what I was "really like" without all the meds. I had been considering stepping off the anti-depressants for awhile, and my new doctor basically said, "hey guess what, the time will never be right, so let's just do it now" and I was like, "word!", so I started. Then I went into withdrawal and we took a moment, re-evaluated a bit and started again, a little bit slower this time.

Minus the withdrawal part, its been pretty okay. Except for the PERIOD. I'm sorry, but I'm just going to have to do this-- I'm going to have to talk about menstruation on my blog now.

Oh my god, does the menstruating suck! I keep thinking that really, seriously, women cannot go through this every month?! And yes! In fact, they do!

This month has been especially bad because recently, I've been doing so well! Along with the decrease in meds, I'm also trying to improve some other things. I started a savings account again, and a new retirement plan at work. I quit smoking (again! but actually by not smoking this time). I've been eating yogurt every day for breakfast and a salad for lunch. And walking! I've actually been getting regular exercise!

Today? I actually hated my salad, so I left it in the fridge at home this morning. My body feels like someone broke it and set it back together all wrong, I have cramps, I'm tired, I ate a donut, a candy bar, the chocolate chips out of my trail mix, and it took all day to answer like three emails at work.

Its not that I forgot that periods are crap, but I kinda hoped that it wouldn't be as bad as I remembered.

It is.

Fertility sucks. If birth control didn't cause blood clots and heart attacks, I would take them straight through to old age.