Thursday, December 20, 2007

not so triumphant return

My friend the Analyst pointed out once that the nice part of giving something up is that when you do finally get back to it, you can call it a Triumphant Return! 

In its original context, the Triumphant Return was for when we finally went back to the gym after neglecting our memberships for months and months. 

So I am returning to blogland to say, "Yes, I have braved the wild jungles of deepest whatever, and now, TRIUMPHANTLY, I have RETURNED!  Yay for me!"

This, of course, makes giving things up all the more appealing.  What could be better than a Triumphant Return?!  I'm not ashamedly slinking back to apologize for being so lame as to have nothing interesting to say about myself on my own damn blog, oh no.  I've got ticker tape parades, bronze commerative statutes, and, er... cupcakes!  Cupcakes for my Triumphant Return! 

And.. nothing much to say.

Oh sure, I can think of a million different blogs to post.  Here are some examples:

Like, I had this dream and all these crazy things happened.. wait, I don't remember it any more.

Or how about:

There was a guy with really short pants walking in front of me the other day.  I kept staring at the way his pants flapped around his ankles, becoming more and more bothered by the flapping.  I even tried to covertly take a cellphone pic of his flapping pants, but it didn't come out so great.  My conclusion? If your pants don't graze the top of your shoes, at the very least, they are too short.  Conversely, if you are stomping all over the hems, they are too long.  Although, if I had to choose, too long is better than too short.  (Unless you are really short, then you will look like a clown or a kid playing dress up).  So seriously, America, care about the length of your pants-- because I do.


And all of these topics just underscore the main issue here: my triumphant return is not so triumphantly important. 

Its not just that I have given up on the blogging-- I've also given up on sorting my email.  My gmail inbox currently has over 200 emails.   So I stopped emailing people and just wait for someone to write to me.  Then I enjoy getting an email so much, I decide not to reply right away, to prolong the enjoyment.  However, with 200 emails in the background, mucking up the screen, I soon forget who I have and have not replied to, and stop paying attention.  No one gets any replies and pretty soon, I'm sitting around the house all the time, watching tv with the girlfriend, wondering why I never hear from anyone or go out anymore. 

What have I been doing with all my non-blogging, non-friend hanging-out time?  Watching TV.  Farting around with my girlfriend.  The TV.   The girlfriend.  Over and over.  Day after day.

Even the girlfriend has begun commenting on my inability to do anything.

The fact is, I need to get some control over myself and my complete disregard for Doing Things.  Just so you know, you're all on my To- Do list.

I'm back.