Friday, July 18, 2008

i'm so damn dangerous

MKD just posted a random blog in which she admitted to liking that I Kissed a Girl song that's on the radio all the time now.

Here is a link to lyrics and the video for I Kissed a Girl.

As my arguments shall prove, I Kissed a Girl is allegedly about a girl who is fucking awesome and is telling you about it, but on a closer look, I think you will come to agree that this chick kissing other chicks is actually quite lame.

1. Why did Katy Perry kiss a girl? In her own words:
"I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to"
Um, you kissed a girl cuz you were drunk? Yeah, you and every woman that has ever been featured on a Girls Gone Wild video. And Girls Gone Wild? Sucks.

2. What happened when she kissed a girl? Again, her own words:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right

Hmm. You seem conflicted, dear Katy. You liked it, there was a pleasant aftertaste, but it was so wrong. No, wait, it was so right.. but UH OH, you have a boyfriend? I hate to be the one to break it to you, but in many cultures, kissing other people while in a relationship could be considered cheating. And I think maybe, Katy dear, if you hadn't been drinking in the first place, you wouldn't be in this situation.

Also, I would like to point out that I quite enjoy kissing girls and I don't have a boyfriend. Know why? CUZ I AM GAY, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT.

I have no time and no patience for someone getting an illicit thrill off my lifestyle. I mean, seriously? I can only legally be married in California and MAYBE Massachusetts, if they repeal an old shitty law originally intended to prevent miscegenation.

Oh, but you were drinking and you have a boyfriend and the kissing, that was just for fun? FUCK YOU. In some states, just writing "partner" or "girlfriend" on my benefits forms invalidates them. But yeah, its so much fucking fun to be gay, when you're drinking, and your boyfriend is looking the other way.

So in response to MKD, I say: THAT SONG SUCKS. You should like this song:

Rye Rye - Gangsta Girl

Its not about kissing girls, but it is about a chick who is so fucking awesome, all she has to do is straight up tell you:

"I'm so - damn - dangerous. I'm so dangerous."

Truer words have never been spoken to such a great beat.